Music to my ears: Right Said Fred remakes song in honor of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad

In March, the British newspaper The Guardian indicated more than 3000 emails of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad had been leaked to them by a “Syrian opposition group”. Oddly the revelations that seemed to most fascinate the media was the dictator’s itune downloads which included Harry Potter movies and cheesy pop music.

The cheese bit back when John Oliver invited one of the favored bands, Right Said Fred, on his show Last Week Tonight and they performed a parody “You’re too awful for this earth” to the tune of their hit I’m Too Sexy.

Enjoy the clip but be warned, like the original, this tune will get stuck in your head and you’ll find yourself humming “You’re an asshole. An asshole. Everyone thinks you’re an asshole!” for days.

Lyrics:

YOU’RE TOO AWFUL FOR THIS EARTH
TOO AWFUL FOR THIS EARTH
SO AWFUL IT HURTS
YOUR FACE BARELY HAS A CHIN
IT BARELY HAS A CHIN
YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM…

PLEASE, STOP DOWNLOADING OUR TRACKS
STOP DOWNLOADING OUR TRACKS
HERE’S YOUR MONEY BACK

YOU’RE A MONSTER
WE HATE YOUR REGIME
AND WE THINK YOU SHOULD BE TRIED FOR WAR CRIMES
YEAH, FOR WAR CRIMES
FOR WAR CRIMES
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY BE ON TRIAL FOR WAR CRIMES

YOU’RE AN OPTHAMOLOGIST
AN OPTHAMOLOGIST
HEY, CAN YOU READ THIS?

YOU ARE JUST A WALKING TAINT
THE OPPOSITE OF A SAINT
AT LEAST HITLER COULD PAINT

YOU’RE A MONSTER
AND A VOLLEYBALL FAN

BUT MORE THAN THAT, YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE
YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE
WHO’S AFRAID OF HIS MOM
YOU’RE A MURDEROUS MOM-FEARING ASSHOLE
YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!
YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE, YEAH!
EVERYONE THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!

YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!
YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE, YEAH!
EVERYONE THINKS YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!
PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO OUR SONGS.

Marriage Equality is soo gay… it’s George Takei gay

 

by Matt Stopera from BuzzFeed

George Takei Responds To “Traditional” Marriage Fans

The legendary George Takei responds in the best way possible to the protesters who gathered during March Prop 8/DOMA hearings outside the Supreme Court. I went there to ask them to express their opinions on a pad of paper; now, George is weighing in. Can he be any more amazing?

Donkey Kong gets Gender Update from Dad

Dad Challenges Retro Gender Roles By Hacking ‘Donkey Kong’

By Annie-Rose Strasser on Mar 11, 2013 at 12:00 pm

Mike Mika might be the world’s best feminist dad.

When his 3-year-old daughter discovered that the girl character in Donkey Kong, Pauline, could only sit distressed and wait for a male character to help her, Mika decided to do something about it. So, The Verge reports, he hacked the popular game to make Pauline a functional character, and the male character, Mario, became the damsel (or, lord?) in distress:

Thankfully Mika happens to be a competent developer, and after a few late-night hours spent hacking the NES version of Nintendo’s classic, he accomplished the role reversal his daughter had wished for. Mario was now under Donkey Kong’s control, and Pauline was tasked with rescuing the plumber in distress. Following the successful endeavor, Mika shared some details of how he swapped the characters on a YouTube page demonstrating the hack. “I’ve redrawn Mario’s frames and I swapped the palettes in the ROM,” he wrote. “I replaced the M at the top with a P for Pauline.”

Mika uploaded this video on YouTube to demonstrate how it worked:

Technological hacks for thinking about and subverting gender barriers are gaining in popularity. Another father recently did a gender swap for the game Zelda. And a recent invention, a Google Chrome browser extension called “Jailbreak The Patriarchy,” swaps the gender pronouns on websites to show how gender dynamics affect our views of the world.

MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS – THRIFT SHOP

 

“Thrift Shop”
(feat. Wanz)

Hey, Macklemore! Can we go thrift shopping?

What, what, what, what… [x7]

[Hook]
I’m gonna pop some tags
Only got twenty dollars in my pocket
I – I – I’m hunting, looking for a come-up
This is fucking awesome

[Verse 1]
Now, walk into the club like, “What up, I got a big cock!”
I’m so pumped about some shit from the thrift shop
Ice on the fringe, it’s so damn frosty
That people like, “Damn! That’s a cold ass honkey.”
Rollin’ in, hella deep, headin’ to the mezzanine,
Dressed in all pink, ‘cept my gator shoes, those are green
Draped in a leopard mink, girls standin’ next to me
Probably shoulda washed this, smells like R. Kelly’s sheets
(Piiisssssss)
But shit, it was ninety-nine cents! (Bag it)
Coppin’ it, washin’ it, ’bout to go and get some compliments
Passin’ up on those moccasins someone else’s been walkin’ in
Bummy and grungy, fuck it man
I am stuntin’ and flossin’ and
Savin’ my money and I’m hella happy that’s a bargain, bitch
I’ma take your grandpa’s style, I’ma take your grandpa’s style,
No for real – ask your grandpa – can I have his hand-me-downs? (Thank you)
Velour jumpsuit and some house slippers
Dookie brown leather jacket that I found diggin’
They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard
I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a kneeboard
Hello, hello, my ace man, my Miller
John Wayne ain’t got nothing on my fringe game, hell no
I could take some Pro Wings, make them cool, sell those
The sneaker heads would be like “Aw, he got the Velcros”

[Hook x2]

[Verse 2]
What you know about rockin’ a wolf on your noggin?
What you knowin’ about wearin’ a fur fox skin?
I’m digging, I’m digging, I’m searching right through that luggage
One man’s trash, that’s another man’s come-up
Thank your granddad for donating that plaid button-up shirt
‘Cause right now I’m up in her skirt
I’m at the Goodwill, you can find me in the (Uptons)
I’m that, I’m that sucker searchin’ in that section (Uptons)
Your grammy, your aunty, your momma, your mammy
I’ll take those flannel zebra jammies, second-hand, I rock that motherfucker
The built-in onesie with the socks on that motherfucker
I hit the party and they stop in that motherfucker
They be like, “Oh, that Gucci – that’s hella tight.”
I’m like, “Yo – that’s fifty dollars for a T-shirt.”
Limited edition, let’s do some simple addition
Fifty dollars for a T-shirt – that’s just some ignorant bitch (shit)
I call that getting swindled and pimped (shit)
I call that getting tricked by a business
That shirt’s hella dough
And having the same one as six other people in this club is a hella don’t
Peep game, come take a look through my telescope
Trying to get girls from a brand? Then you hella won’t
Then you hella won’t

(Goodwill… poppin’ tags… yeah!)

[Hook]

[Bridge x2]
I wear your granddad’s clothes
I look incredible
I’m in this big ass coat
From that thrift shop down the road

[Hook]

Is that your grandma’s coat?

Advent calendar of Doom: countdown to oblivion (again)

I keep forgetting that the world is ending. Again.

By way of apology for this forgetfulness… please accept this advent calendar style count down of will she or wont she? Mother nature that is. (Will she bites the dust or bite back or… fill in the blank with apocalypse of your choice.) If the world ends in (insert countdown clock here) however many days will it end in fire? ice? zombie apocalypse?

2012 End of the World Party Invitation

Blog pick of the day (backdated to Dec 2)

Six Reasons Why the World Isn’t Going to End in 19 Days

http://kaitlinring.wordpress.com/2012/12/02/six-reasons-why-the-world-isnt-going-to-end-in-19-days/

spoiler alert: here are her reasons the world won’t be ending

  1. Mayans were no Nostradamuses (er nostradami?)
  2. Taylor Swift is not gluten free or tasty
  3. Rapture.2 still not scary (still, true believers, it is okay to mail me keys to your car and safety deposit boxes cuz you don’t need all that where you are going? right?)
  4. Walking Dead series is a training guide for surviving the zombie apocalypse.
  5. iphones
  6. ignored expiration date on coffee creamer and survived.

It’s all pretty complicated and scientific. Go read it and enjoy.

Today’s pick says we live. Tomorrow’s says we die. I like to be fair that way.

footnote: time isn’t a straight line its wobbly spacy thingy… and blogger time is even wobblier than that. So this advent calendar “begins” on December 2nd (see above) but I started and finished writing this on Dec 7 2012… and you, dear reader, maybe reading this from the relief or rubble of post Dec 31st or in the farflung (or fairly soon) future as part of an alien history class of once great “human” civilizations.

Just because you’re paranoid… it doesn’t mean no one is hiding in your shower

showercurtains

 

three options here:

  • 1) Yell “ TAG you’re it! ” then it’s your turn to hide
  • or
  • 2) do your best indiana jones impression and sneer: “you brought a gun to a knife fight?” Then shoot him between the eyes (or thighs) with that tiny pink girly revolver you keep hidden under the toilet paper cosy
  • or
  • 3) push him and turn on the water. Idiot is standing in slippery tub. Bludgeon him to submission with the wooden end of the toilet plunger while he gets tangled in the shower curtain. Once he’s unconscious get the ax or chainsaw and chop him into manageable pieces. Very considerate to hide a place that makes clean up so easy. Then bury him in the basement with the last killer stupid enough to hide in the bathroom and wait for YOU to come home.

PS Do not skip the dissection stage. Just dragging him downstairs and burying him whole may seem like a timesaver but we’ve all seen how that movie ends.