Just because you’re paranoid… it doesn’t mean no one is hiding in your shower



three options here:

  • 1) Yell “ TAG you’re it! ” then it’s your turn to hide
  • or
  • 2) do your best indiana jones impression and sneer: “you brought a gun to a knife fight?” Then shoot him between the eyes (or thighs) with that tiny pink girly revolver you keep hidden under the toilet paper cosy
  • or
  • 3) push him and turn on the water. Idiot is standing in slippery tub. Bludgeon him to submission with the wooden end of the toilet plunger while he gets tangled in the shower curtain. Once he’s unconscious get the ax or chainsaw and chop him into manageable pieces. Very considerate to hide a place that makes clean up so easy. Then bury him in the basement with the last killer stupid enough to hide in the bathroom and wait for YOU to come home.

PS Do not skip the dissection stage. Just dragging him downstairs and burying him whole may seem like a timesaver but we’ve all seen how that movie ends.